Ripped from the Headlines

Arisia 2015: My schedule, and how I'll defy both time and space while there

It's almost time for Arisia again! And that means ... panels! Reading! Parties! Boston in January!

Come join me!

Arisia is New England's largest sci-fi/fantasy con, and is held at the Westin in Boston early every year. I'm going for what I think is the sixth time, and again I'm honored to have been invited to participate on panels. I'll also be running directly from one panel into the tail-end of the awesome Broad Universe "Rapid Fire Reading" in order to share a new story of mine, which makes it even more exciting.

So for those of you who are thinking about attending, here's what you need to know about the con ... and here are the panels/readings in which I'll personally have a hand. Or voice. See you there!

Saturday 1/17, 7 p.m. / Alcott
"Fan Etiquette: How Not to Be That Fan"
You're a fan of something, I'm a fan of something. But nobody really wants to be the scary, creepy or downright embarrassing fan ... at least, hopefully that's not a goal. During this panel (I'm moderating) we'll talk about how to come across as a devotee, not a stalker.

Sunday 1/18, 11:30 a.m. / Alcott
"TV Year in Review"
Man, there have been so many great TV shows in the genre field this year, who can keep track? Five of your fellow esteemed panelists will try running through our favorites (and ones that aren't quite so favored) while soliciting comments from the audience. See how many we can get through an hour and fifteen minutes!

Sunday 1/18, 11:30 a.m. / Douglas
Broad Universe "Rapid Fire Reading"
Yeah, I've got access to the TARDIS but even I can't be in two panels at once. While other great Broads do short readings of their new work, I'll be over in the TV Year in Review panel, then heading into the RFR in the last few minutes to gasp out my own work. Let's see if I can violate both space and time in the process.

Sunday 1/18, 1:00 p.m. / Alcott
"TV Writing: Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror/Genre"
As anyone who reads my Curiosity Quills column "Between the Lines" knows, there's a lot of great ways to tell story on TV ... and a lot of ways to mess it up. With former Syfy Network excecutive Thomas Vitale moderating, we'll be discussing what makes for great writing on TV, and what the challenges of telling supernatural stories on the small screen are.

Come on by and say hello at the panels, and if you miss me there, check out the Broad Universe table, where we'll be selling copies of our latest work. Have a great con!

Happy 80th to Harlan Ellison, who has a knock-knock joke for you

Harlan Ellison, that irascible love-him or hate-him genius of speculative fiction, lawsuits and storytelling, turns 80 today. While covering the South by Southwest Festival in 2008, I got a chance to talk with him in person (there's a video I'll turn up one of these days), and before that, on the phone. Here's just the opening salvo of our extended phone chat, which had us talking testicles, knock-knock jokes and grammar strictures in just the first few seconds.

Me: So are you rooting for the Giants or the Patriots this season?

Harlan Ellison: I really don’t care. I don’t give a fuck about either one of them. The Pats have an unblemished record and that’s kind of interesting to watch but if they win you say, “Well, okay they had an unblemished record and not it’s unblemished-er.” And the Giants, I like (quarterback) Phillip Rivers. I think he’s got, as we men who touch our soft side say, he has balls. 

Me: So long as you don’t touch his soft side.

Ellison: Now you see, I finally figured that out.  When you talk about a woman who has balls, you obviously can’t, it’s a dichotomy.  So you have to say she’s got great eggs. 

Me: Saying she’s got ovaries doesn’t have the same oomph to it.

Ellison: I got a great one; you ready?  Knock-knock.

Me: Who’s there?

Ellison: Objective Case.

Me: Objective Case who?

Ellison: No, no. That would be Objective Case whom?

Me: I felt that one coming.

Ellison: See, you are too smart for your own good. What are you doing working for the (publication)?

Me: No one will pay me more.

Ellison: And having to deal with the schmendricks you deal with everyday.

Me: Well, because every so often I have the opportunity to call someone like Harlan Ellison.

Ellison: Oh you silver-tongued devil you. What can I do for you?

Of course, there's lots more; I'll find a way to put that in at some other point. Happy birthday to the original silver-tongued devil, in all senses of the phrase.

Why I will not be killing my treadmill desk

It happened today. I sat down in my elevated desk chair, in front of my elevated desk (probably about four, four and a half feet off the floor) and pulled out my retractable keyboard rest and began working at my computer. And I thought, "Now this is what I wanted."

Getting here has taken time. Years, really. I always said, while stuck at my stationary desk in my old apartment that my next desk would be a treadmill. So when we moved, I got rid of the big hutch desk and plunked down a fair amount of money for a desk that would rise and lower to be either seated or standing. It arrived in November, and I've used it most every day since.

A treadmill desk is, without question, a conversation piece. Tell folks you have one and there's a lift of the eyebrow, a "really?" that's a terrific blend of "that sounds like fun I'd like to try it for a day" and "that is probably not for me no matter how neat it sounds."

In my case, I am the convert I expected to be. That doesn't mean it's a perfect mechanism. And to me, alternating between walking (I average 3-4 hours a day, 2 miles an hour), standing and sitting is crucial. You can't really get away with just doing one: Sitting gets really tough after a while, and standing is no good for long periods -- I tried just standing with my laptop resting on my dresser for a time in the old apartment, and while the height was good, after an hour or so it's tough on the body to stand more or less in one place. And walking, walking is good for a lot of things but not for actual concentrated writing -- so I sit for that. It's about variety, and with my one desk, I'm getting it.

Which is why an article like "Why I Killed My Standing Desk" is irritating. It does provide good options for people who can't stand/walk at their desks to keep moving, so that's useful. But the author posits it as an all-or-nothing proposition: I couldn't stand at my desk forever, ergo standing desks are a bad idea. Dumb.All that said, getting to this point with my treadmill desk has been a bit of a learning curve. A dynamic desk, full of items that are not necessarily meant to move or shift, means you need to adjust. Wires? They'll have to stretch. I have my computer tower under the desk, next to the modem, next to the treadmill, so that helps but then you need to make sure you don't kick the computer accidentally. (The other day my computer kicked back; I gouged the side of my foot on a sharp bit.) And when the desk rises or sinks, at least in my case, you have to compensate for the descending legs, which are a shell over the inner, narrower ones -- you don't want to lower the desk onto equipment, slippers, toes, etc.But I'm learning. We're learning, the desk and me. And for now, I can't imagine having it any other way. Well, maybe I can: I could use a larger office. This thing is a monster!